I've been thinking a lot about what it is about relationships that have ended like the last two that irritates/hurts/confuses me the most. I think it's how you can share intimate moments with someone and then just completely cut them out of your life like they never existed. It's just beyond me how you can claim to care for someone, even love them, and then, as the old expression goes, "drop them like a hot potato."
Are people really this detached from emotion? Yes, I have cut people out of my life on many occasions, but it was always immensely painful, regardless of what they did to me to deserve to get the boot. And I rarely have been able to just throw the killswitch to relationships (friendships & romantic relationships included) and cease all communication. I'm just not that kind of person. When someone becomes a part of my life, I pretty much hope they'll stay there in some capacity forever. I'm friends with almost all of my exes, which is strange for some people, but it's just something I've always been able to handle...after enough time goes by to allow me to adequately heal from the departure.
I love more deeply than most, which means when I get hurt, I hurt more deeply than most. It's a blessing and a curse, but I would rather hurt more knowing that I loved greatly than to go through life with such a coldness or a skewed perception of emotion that I am capable of just letting someone go at the drop of a hat.
Someone is out there who will allow me to lay all my cards out on the table and who will then lay out all of his, let me into his world, be ready to love, and allow me to love him like he's never been loved before. He exists. Somewhere.
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